TVOD (12.3.07.)

The first in what will become a weekly round-up of what you have to watch this coming week on UK TV. Plus, at the end some links to YouTube vids that you might find interesting and can actually watch, like, now.


TONIGHT: Well, tonight you have the choice of three of America's big-hitters. At 11.35pm on Channel 4, you've got The Greatest Television Drama Of All Time (according to Channel 4 themselves, nonetheless), The Sopranos. Let's be frank here, the only people who watch The Sopranos these days are people who have followed it from the start, so I'm not going to implore you to start now if you've never seen it before. There are two reasons why I'm not going to do that: 1) You will be utterly confused; 2) Tonight's episode, 'Join The Club', is, as far as Sopranos episodes go, a bit of a dog.

A large chunk of 'Join The Club' is dedicated to one of The Sopranos' interminable dream sequences. With Tony (James Gandolfini) lying in a coma after Uncle June's (Dominic Chianese) near-fatal senior moment last week, we are 'treated' to a trip through Tony's subconscious. He dreams of being a businessman leading the straight life apparently. Yeah, yeah, we get it now. In fact, we got it ages ago. The whole of the series since inception has pivoted on Tony's misgivings or 'agita' with 'the life', so we don't need half an episode detailing this in a too knowingly cryptic manner. The Sopranos is an undeniably great piece of work, but it's episodes like this that stop it from being (heresy alert!) as good as The Wire.

Before all that, at 10pm, you have the choice between Prison Break (Five) and Heroes (Sci-Fi Channel). So it's either the progressively implausible caper of the improbably rag-tag bunch of cons or the surprisingly believable adventures of a gang of disparate superhuman freaks. I don't know which one to pick. To be honest, they're both ridiculously watchable and you're all probably going to Sky+ one of them or watch Heroes on Sci-Fi+1 or something.

TUESDAY: The Wire's on! You know the drill: 10pm, FX, Sky Channel 179. Sky's programme planner doesn't really do its best to sell this undervalued show. Here's what the i button tells us we're in for tonight; Valchek leaks details of the Braddock case to Carcetti, who considers how to leak it to the press. The ensuing negative attention turns Royce against Burrell. High octane mayhem ensues! Okay, the last part was a lie and, as any fan knows, action isn't really what The Wire's all about. Just watch it, dammit!

Elsewhere tonight, there's new US import drama, Kidnapped, which looks like it could be good if a little classy-by-numbers. But hey, you've gotta love anything with Delroy Lindo in the cast and More4 and BBC4 compete to see who can lower their standards the most. More4 are screening Harrison Ford's disastrous attempt to play Russian in K-19: The Widowmaker, while BBC4 throw in a rather pointless addition to their 1997 theme week with the Melinda Messenger-presented, I Love 1997, that features such cultural highlights as the rise to fame of the Spice Girls, Mike Tyson biting a chunk out of Evander Holyfield and Ti-fuckin'-tanic. For shame, the pair of you!

WEDNESDAY: "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!". It's Friday Night Lights (8pm, ITV4, Sky Channel 120)! Leave all prejudice at the door and bask in its brilliance. Also, rising comedy star, Rasmus Hardiker (Saxondale, Lead Balloon) is in the latest edition of BBC4's fitfully funny comedy of manners, Tight Spot, alongside Nina Wadia, Douglas Hodge and Siobhan Redmond. Could be good.

Looking for something a little more intelligent? Well, Sky's new channel, Sky Arts (Channel 267) are showing Peter Greenaway's A Zed And Two Noughts. Or you could just watch Spurs Vs. Sporting Braga on ITV. Your choice.

THURSDAY: The best thing on tonight is FX's comedy double bill of Lucky Louie and Chappelle's Show from 10pm. I'll be writing more about these two on here pretty soon but I'll just say for now that you won't see a funnier hour-and-a-bit on telly all week.

Also tonight, Channel 4 are screening Goodfellas (10pm), ITV are showing more UEFA cup football in the form of the non-event that is Newcastle United away to Dutch team, AZ Alkmaar (maybe there'll be more Geordies in Holland this week than were at St. James' Park last week) and, in case you missed it last night (and with their complete lack of scheduling nous, I wouldn't blame you if you did), ITV2 are re-running the series finale of The Office: An American Workplace. Will Pam and Jim get together? Who will win the battle of wills between Michael and Toby from HR? Will Dwight and Angela finally come out as a couple? Why don't you tune in and find out at the unholy hour of 12.40am?

FRIDAY: It's Comic Relief night on BBC1 and 2, which means we get a mixture of the good (Borat, Mitchell And Webb), the bad (The Vicar Of Dibley, Take That) and the downright bizarre (whatever the fuck 'Top Gear Of The Pops' is supposed to be) of British comedy and light entertainment, but hey, it is all for charidee. Get your guilt and your comedy ears on from 7pm.

If you want to avoid Comic Relief, your options are a bit limited. The other three terrestrial channels are holding back on their a-game lest they get roundly savaged in the ratings stakes, which is understandable. Over on BBC4, however, they're celebrating Paddy's Day with a night of programmes dedicated to fiddle-dee-dee Irish folk music. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes although the always dangerous Shane MacGowan is listed as one of the performers. You could just watch Weird Science (10.50pm, Sci-Fi) with a warm, rose-tinted glow and realise that it's nowhere near as good as you remember it.

SATURDAY: Well, I don't think I need to tell you all to watch Harry Hill's TV Burp (6pm, ITV1), but I will anyway. If you're not going out, BBC3 are showing Fight Club (9.30pm) and Sky Arts have a Pixies acoustic set to share with us (10pm).

So much better than the post-pub fare that Bravo are misleadingly branding it as, you could do a whole lot worse than catching The Venture Bros. on the [adult swim] block at 1.45am. That is assuming that you're not asleep or too pissed to appreciate its greatness.

SUNDAY: Sky One (Channel 106) gets the nod for superior popcorn with the still heart-pumping 24 and the still fucking bewildering Lost from 9pm. BBC2 has the second part of uber-smart doc, The Trap: What Happened To Our Dreams Of Freedom (from The Power Of Nightmares creator, Adam Curtis), also from 9pm and Channel 4 have a run-down of The 100 Greatest Stand-Ups from 8pm. I'll bet Richard Pryor's number one.

TV ON THE INTERNET

This has to be one of the strangest things I've seen on YouTube in a while - eminent Slovenian sociologist and one of the greatest thinkers of our time, Slavoj Zizek, wasting his time on a Boston cable show.

A super-funny promo spot for Tom Goes To The Mayor creators, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim's new [adult swim] show, Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Looks very promising indeed and the more Bob Odenkirk, the better.

OMG! Bernard Manning sings The Smiths! If anyone can remember what sketch show this was on, I'd be eternally grateful.

And finally, because I never tire of seeing this and because of all the controversy surrounding TV phone-ins right now, Five Star on Going Live!